Scared of Being Sober: Why Is Sobriety So Hard?
We’re forced to think and analyze our problems, to come up with solutions, and in doing so we may fail or make mistakes. But that’s how we grow and learn, and how we learn to cope better when the next challenge presents itself. Over time, our ability to cope and come up with solutions that work for us becomes easier and easier. As worthwhile as recovery is, it can also be hard, painful work, which means that being afraid of it is normal.
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However, sometimes you also need to protect yourself from fear. If you aren’t facing and overcoming fear, then you’re letting it run your life. Perhaps you’ve relapsed before, and now you’re worried it will happen again. In this situation, it’s important to be truthful with yourself. It hurts to think of what you have given up or lost for drugs and alcohol.
Reality Check
First, it is normal to be afraid when you first get sober. However, if you don’t learn to manage those fears and put them into perspective, they will drive you right back to the bottle. The flipside of the fear of failure is the fear of success. Most people dont consciously self-sabotage, but they have a deeply held belief that they dont deserve to succeed and, in so believing, never really put forth their best effort.
Fear of Relapse
- Plus, being in recovery typically involves maintaining sobriety, so the two are somewhat intertwined.
- This may include worries about losing social connections or coping with life’s stresses unaided.
- They must also realize, in many cases, their family, friends, employer, coworkers, and others could find out they have an addiction problem.
- That meant that no matter what, no matter what I was going through, how bored I was, or how I was feeling, I had to completely abstain.
- While these fears may seem insurmountable, it is important to remember that they are only temporary.
Exposure to the source of the fear triggers an immediate anxiety response. With your support network, mark milestones in your sobriety, whether they’re days, weeks, months, or years. Celebrating these achievements can boost your morale and reinforce the value of your efforts toward sobriety. Educate your family about your challenges and what you need from them so they know how to support you.
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However, addiction treatment involves support in this respect. During rehab, you can take up fitness classes, as well as engage in meditation, yoga, cooking, nutrition classes and art. By exploring healthy living during rehab, you will find it much easier to carry on with these positive habits in your regular life. You probably feel ashamed about your struggles with addiction. One of your fears in recovery may also relate to thoughts about being judged when you enter a residential treatment facility. This is especially true if you’ve been able to hide your addiction up until now.
I don’t believe you really feel that way because otherwise, you wouldn’t be here. You know, deep down, that you can and should have a better life. Besides, allowing the fear of failure to completely influence big decisions like this is a cop-out. It’s a dysfunctional version of “playing it safe.” You deserve better than that.
A fear of success can be hard for many on the outside of addiction to understand. Therapy and support groups can help individuals in recovery work through self-doubt and pain. Once a person breaks their addiction, they’re faced with the fear that they could slip up at any time. It feels especially fear of being sober challenging in the beginning (the first year or so), but even five or ten years down the road, cravings and triggers may still arise. One thing I’ve learned in my seven and a half years in recovery is that we all have fear, and we all overcome those fears, instead choosing recovery.
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